March 2022 Newsletter
Lately I’ve been starting on a Newsletter a few times, always ending up erasing everything I wrote and close my laptop…I find it so hard to express myself right now. So many mixed emotions and thoughts about what is going on in the world and inside of me.
The part of me who would like to write something comforting, encouraging and supportive hesitates. Hesitates because I’m not sure how it will be received.
We have different experiences when it comes to war, and some like me, have no experience at all of either being invaded or feeling seriously threatened. The closest threat for me was during the end of the “cold war”. But many of you who were born somewhere else than Sweden and/or are a bit older than me, have totally different memories.
What I do know is that I sometimes feel alone and wondering how other people are dealing with their fears. I have a tendency to keep those thoughts to myself … as if they would be more real if I speak them out loud? And also, a fear of pulling someone into my fears who might not be in that place at all…
So today, rather than lining up examples of selfcare books, meditation practices or psychological articles, I’d like to talk about connection and the art of listening. In addition to the things we do to stay grounded in support for ourselves, I believe we would benefit from listening more to one another. Listen and ask questions. Because when we do, we learn something new about this person, we learn about another perspective we might not have come across before and we might get inspired ourselves.
What also happens when we are present with another person and listen with an open heart, we will find just the right support for this person in this moment! Because to be listened to with no judgement or expectation, is unfortunately something many of us have lacked in our life. Support is not necessarily to give advice or share some of our own experiences to make the other one feel less alone…it is powerful enough when we only with our presence shows that “I’m here with you, I’m interested and I’m listening”. In this space a trustful connection is created and a sense of not being alone.
I remember a therapist once shared in group; “Imagine that you unscrew your ears and screw them back onto your heart – and from there you’ll now be listening”. I love that image!
So, from not knowing what to write when I started, this is what came out today, and today I choose not to erase it. And because there are so many folks out there who have written wise and comforting poetry, I’ll end with another poem by David Whyte called Second Sight;
Sometimes, you need the ocean light,
and colors you’ve never seen before
painted through an evening sky.
Sometimes you need your God
to be a simple invitation,
not a telling word of wisdom.
Sometimes you need only the first shyness
that comes from being shown things
far beyond your understanding,
so that you can fly and become free
by being still and by being still here.
And then there are times you need to be
brought to ground by touch
and touch alone.
To know those arms around you
and to make your home in the world.
just by being wanted.
To see those eyes looking back at you,
as eyes should see you at last,
seeing you, as you always wanted to be seen,
seeing you, as you yourself
had always wanted to see the world.
Later this spring I’ll do the first part of two, in a continuing education for Somatic Experiencing Practitioners called “The Eye Of The Needle”. It will be the first in-person trainings I’ll do in a couple of years, so I’m very excited to fly to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan end of April!
The training will go deeper into how to use Somatic Experiencing® when working with clients who has undertaken different kind of surgeries and anesthetics, accidents and NDE’s (near death experiences)
Some of the deepest and seemingly most intractable trauma symptoms occur with clients who become “stuck” in these profoundly altered states of consciousness that emerged out of a near-death experience (NDE). However, these traumas also hold the extraordinary potential for deep, positive, and enduring personal and spiritual transformation if they receive proper guidance and support.
Looking forward to share more when I’ve done the first part!
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