Family Constellation is a process that has the power to shift generations of suffering and unhappiness. Bert Hellinger, a German therapist and the founder of this work, who studied and treated families for more than 50 years, observed that many of us unconsciously “take on” destructive familial patterns of anxiety, depression, anger, guilt, aloneness and even illness as a way of “belonging” in our families. Bonded by a deep love, a child will often sacrifice his own best interests in a vain attempt to ease the suffering of a parent or other family members.
The way to bring the hidden family dynamics to light is to have the client use the help of either objects/symbols (if set in an individual session) or group participants (if set in a group setting) to create a constellation of his or her family.
When noticing the response of those who are representing the family members we’ll be able to get a modified picture and in that way begin to establish a new more natural balance for the family members.
“When the family has been brought into its natural order, the individual can leave it behind him while still feeling the strength of his family supporting him. Only when the connection to his family is acknowledged, and the person’s responsibility seen clearly and then distributed, can the individual feel unburdened and go about his personal affairs without anything from the past weighing him down or holding him back.”
– Bert Hellinger
Maybe you recognise yourself in one or more of these statements?
“I never feel safe anywhere”
“I never seem to find my place”
“I think I push people away”
“Since my car accident I haven’t been able to drive again”
“I feel I need to take care of everyone and I’m tired”
“When I’m getting close to someone, I get scared and leave”
“Since the attack I’m constantly on guard”
“I always fear that I will lose everything”
“I would love to enjoy life more”
How Do I Know if Therapy is Right for Me?
Maybe you’ve come to a point in your life when you’d like things to be different. Maybe you’ve tried many things that worked for a while, and then you find yourself stuck in moving forward, or out of ideas.
Part of growing is to acknowledge all parts of you and where you come from. What was the envirolment you grew up in? What conditions were there for your parents, your ancestors? By conditionings we are told that curtain parts are better than others; happy is better than sad, a smile is better than a neutral or sad face, light is better than dark and so on. I belive all parts needs to be included and looked at like keys to a deeper understanding of ourselves.
There’s a reason for you feeling like you do. And by looking into what is working well in your life as well as where you feel limited, scared or stuck, you will start to understand where it all comes from, and with that growing awareness also find your way to move forward, to heal and to live the life you’d love to live.
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