Be aware of the lenses you are wearing…
Recently I had the experience of not feeling 100% accepted and it’s an uncomfortable feeling. And this is why;
Over the last 12 years I have grown not only to accept, but love myself for who I am, with all my flaws, habits, looks and so on. I care less about what people might think of me, what I say and what I do.
And the way for me to arrive where I am at today has been through a lot of introspection of course, and also support from different people around me who has watched me grow. I also had to learn about self compassion.
I guess I do put myself out for judgement by my actions at times, and I try to look at it with an open heart. Do I deserve this judgment? What can I learn from this? Is this fare? Does it necessary have to do with me?
And more and more I feel how judgement transformes into something else, if I choose to see it different. For example; “I don’t think you can or should do that” – could mean “I’m afraid something might happen to you if you do that, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
So what has judgment to do with me not feeling accepted?
During my process of not judging myself I also practice not to judge others. The longer I practice the more natural it feels. And today I stop myself when I feel I’m about to judge someone, because I know nothing or very little about that persons story or background.
So when I feel judged for something I don’t feel I deserve or I feel that the other person never took his/her time to hear my explanation for my actions – it’s easy to judge the person for just that…
The practice is; “don’t judge the judger, because then you are no better than that, and you haven’t learnt anything”…
We come from so many different places, environments and cultures that has contributed to form us into the person we are. But one thing we all have in common, is that deep inside is a BEING. A BEING we were long before we were born, and that we are unique.
So when I’m seen by another being, I feel safe. If I feel looked at through the lenses of the above mentioned conditionings due to the culture we grew up in, I don’t feel seen and I don’t feel safe.
By peeling of the layers of conditionings and believes we have about ourselves, we can reconnect with our own being and then start to see the being in others. Then true connection can happen.