Me – like a trees journey to the sky
The other day on my morning walk in a park nearby, I saw this amazing tree (I think it is a maple tree of some kind). A bit up on the stem it separates into two and grows separately for some time (years) and then it connects again. Further up it separates, grows together, separates…. and finally, the tree has two amazing separate crowns reaching up in the sky.
It made me think about how life is for most of us; We start off as one, not really knowing what it means to be oneself…I’m imagining a baby that has been part of the mother’s womb for 9 months doesn’t really know the difference between itself and the mother to start with. Our first time in life we are so dependent of our caregivers. We get nourished, fed and cared for by them. Slowly we learn to know the difference of “me and you” by mirroring, by noticing, by learning and by trusting. And in a healthy environment we learn to self-regulate (which is our nervous systems way of letting us know when we need to protect ourselves, maybe escape and when to feel safe) we learn this by watching our care givers (co-regulating). In the beginning, before we know the difference of “me and you”, co-regulating is the way we learn how to self-regulate.
Back to the tree….and when one part of the tree sets off of its own for the first time….
As humans most of us one day feel it’s time to go our own way. We might do it out of curiosity and out of longing to see what else there might be. We might find that it’s getting too tight, too intense living in this close relationship where we started…
What I find so beautiful when I look at the tree is that even when the tree sets off by itself, creating its own branch, its own path, the part it separated from is still there growing side by side….
Sometimes in my life when I’ve set off by myself, I have truly felt I was alone on my own journey. I did not see or understand that what was there from the start was still there silently by my side…the support of where I come from.
Like this tree, we set off and come back several times in a lifetime. Maybe we come back because we need to be reminded where we come from, maybe we need support from the ones that knew us early on when we go through something challenging in our life.
And, I really had to bend to see the top of the tree – the two crowns swaying in the wind side by side. Watching the crowns swaying in the wind like in a dance, I’m suddenly filled with joy!
For a moment I imagine I’m there, I am the crown! I feel such freedom having reached this far, this high! Beside me another beautiful crown, very similar and still different from mine, is swaying beside me. At this height I’m also aware of all the other crowns in the forest celebrating beside me, above us only sky….
Looking down I see how my life’s journey have moved on sometimes on my own, sometimes supported by this solid stem, that I now can see has been there the whole time…sometimes watching me from a distance, sometimes supporting me closely and now celebrating together with me! So even if we are not always aware of our support, where we come from… that/the source/life/god/the universe/our ancestors… are always there to watch us grow, to nourish, to hold us, to let us go again and again….and when we reach a certain place and become aware of all this, we will celebrate together 🙏🏼🌱💚🥳🌳